When I have a choice of what map I want to use, I’ll always pick a globe.

Flat maps all have one major problem: they’re trying to display a round globe.

Here’s an experiment. Cut an unpeeled orange in half, then take out the insides without ripping the peel. Then try to push the peel flat on a surface.

Mercator Projection: 1569

Mapmakers have developed a number of strategies for dealing with the problem. They’re referred to as map projections, and the most commonly used is the Mercator Projection. It’s by far one of the most common map projections you’ll run into.

The Mercator Projection is quite useful and works great for navigation…but at the cost of grossly misrepresenting the size of certain landmasses, especially closer to the poles. The best way to picture this is by stretching out that orange peel. There’s going to be quite a bit of distortion.

Greenland is the biggest offender. Greenland in real life is 1/14th the size of Africa, and 1/3rd the size of Australia, but it is grossly inflated on the Mercator Projection and is actually portrayed as larger than Australia. Africa, meanwhile, is shrunk down until it appears the same size as Greenland on the map. This has actually produced quite a bit of academic and political controversy over the years. The Mercator is drifting out of popularity these days.

Another common map projection is the Goode homolosine projection. This one is the equivalent of cutting the orange peel to make it look flat; in fact, it’s often called the orange peel map. While the Goode homolosine projection does a much better job of representing the continents without distorting them, it does cut Greenland in half and, well… you can see what it looks like.

Given the choice, I’m always going to use a globe. Unfortunately, they’re less than perfectly portable.

I always hear people going on and on about how we’re in the greatest age of innovation and technology, with more amazing things being invented now than ever before. I’ll have to beg to differ there, and I can back up my argument, too:

The Library at Alexandria

• The oldest folding chairs date back to the 14th century B.C. from Ancient Egypt.
• The first fishing reel dates all the way to at least 4th century China.
• Beer predates recorded history, and has even been linked to the rise of civilization.
• Wine predates recorded history and is possibly almost as old as beer.
• Reclining armchairs date back to the Napoleonic War.
• Organized sporting events predate recorded history.
• The oldest dice ever found are more than 5,000 years old—coincidentally, they were found in the oldest ever backgammon set.
• Humans bred dogs before recorded history, or even the invention of agriculture.
• The earliest form of chess originated in the 6th century in India.
• The Arawak Native Americans invented the barbeque grill long before any Europeans showed up in the Americas.
• Playing cards were invented in China during the 9th century.
• The written word is between six and nine thousand years old; the first proto-books popped up not too long after.
• The housecat was domesticated in Ancient Egypt, though some experts believe that the process started long before that.
• The oldest known direct ancestors of the guitar are well over 3,000 years old.
• Baseball caps are more than a century and a half old.
• People began drinking coffee—in Yemen—in the 1400s.
• Native Americans, probably the Arawak, invented the hammock in the Caribbean more than a thousand years ago.

So, the next time someone dismisses ancient peoples as primitive: just smile and nod, then kick back in a hammock with a beer and a good book.